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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644586">Time to Heal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conan_76/pseuds/Conan_76'>Conan_76</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Dealing with Shitty Families, F/M, Fix-It, Force Ghosts, Get in the Ship Losers We're Getting Ben Back, Jar Jar Abrams is a Moron, Loss of Virginity, Pretending that Luke and Leia are as terrible as JJ and Terrio say they are, Skywalker Level Dramatics, Touch-Starved, no beta we die like men, stolen DNA</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:34:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conan_76/pseuds/Conan_76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey and Ben escape the bad writing of the Rise of Skywalker and fly off into the sunset.  Along the way they must both come to terms with being used as tools to fix someone elses mess.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Let's pretend for one moment that Leia and Luke and all the fricken Jedi are as awful as Terrior and Jar Jar Abrams made them out to be.  This is my angsty attempt at trying to get into Rey's head after that shit show.  Ben does not die, ever...not once in my fics because that ending was stupid and I refuse to acknowledge it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’ve escaped, commandeered a ship and slipped past the blockade in the chaos of the battle.  At light speed the stars streak by, winking in and out as they speed away from the demons that have controlled their lives. That smile Ben gave her when she came to gave her greater joy in her life than every happy moment combined, and there weren’t many of those. She was riddled with guilt. How had she ever doubted him, how could she ever have left him when all everyone had ever done was leave them both?  If she could go back in time she would have taken his hand, after all it <em>was</em> Ben all along. She nearly lost him because of the callousness and neglect of both of their families.  At least Han tried...in the end. She’s angry, beyond angry that the Jedi ever allowed this to happen. That Luke and Leia abandoned Ben...abandoned her. Ultimately they were just vessels to complete the dirty work of damaged people. It was never about Rey, she thinks bitterly...it was certainly never about Ben.  It was always about the damn universe.</p>
<p>For the greater good, to abandon her to suffer on a hellscape like Jakku as a slave for Plutt.</p>
<p>For the greater good to toss a son out as a child.</p>
<p>For the greater good to allow a wound to fester in the universe so that someone else could take him out.   </p>
<p>They were only tools to be used in the never ending war between the Jedi and the Sith, they were never allowed to be children...to have normal lives and to be loved. </p>
<p>She had been terrified of losing him, his heartbeat had been weak under her trembling hand, and she could feel the excruciating pain in his leg as if it were her own.  She healed it as best as she could until he stopped her as his own fear of losing her again was more important than his discomfort. Where were the Jedi then? What kind of families were they cursed with in this universe that they are both left to die on that barren planet?   <em> Just kill Palpatine for us Rey, but then you’re both disposable.  </em></p>
<p>Thankfully their hijacked transport ship had a medpac with bacta patches that she was able to apply to his mottled chest and abdomen as he sighed in relief.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>She glances over at him sitting in the copilot's seat, she knows in her heart, that she'll never get tired of just looking at him. </p>
<p> “Any requests for where we go?”  </p>
<p>“No,” He quietly answers.</p>
<p>“Ben?” </p>
<p>Those big brown eyes look over at her, and she can physically feel his anguish as it rolls off him in waves. She just wants to hold him and make his pain go away, to again see that beautiful smile that lit up his face. She reaches her hand out and he intertwines his fingers with hers.  </p>
<p>She takes a deep breath giving his fingers a squeeze, “So...we have no credits. We’re flying a stolen ship, and we’re in the unknown region.” </p>
<p>“It’s ok.”</p>
<p>“How?” She quirks an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>“This is the Knights of Ren transport, there should be a safe with untraceable credit chips somewhere.” His eyes dart to the back for a second. “We find them, head to a spaceport and pick up supplies.” He’s then quiet for a moment.  “We find a planet, where no one knows who we are, and hide.” </p>
<p>She nods, it's a plan at any rate. </p>
<p>Ben sleeps off and on slumped in the copilot’s seat, it’s fitful and he whimpers once in a while fighting unseen but known demons. The sounds he makes nearly breaks her heart.  She kisses his temple and whispers that she’s here and he’s safe until he quiets down.</p>
<p>He needs to rest.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>A search of the ship and she finds a container with credit chips which she quickly pockets and even better there is a cabinet with blasters.  Their lightsabers would be a dead giveaway so she packs them in a satchel along with rations and a few of the remaining bacta patches. In the fresher she cleans her face as best she can, but she avoids any cloth because everything in here smells rank.  Looking in the mirror It’s too obvious it’s her still, so she begins taking her hair all the way down and combing through it with her fingers. Not great, but until they can swap clothes and shower it’s the best she can do. Ben at least is unrecognizable without the mask and cape, but even so when he wakes they scrounge up smelly tunics from the belly of the ship. </p>
<p>The port is a busy chaotic mess with clanky droids running to and fro and causing general mayhem.  A dock Forman sizes them up and she she haggles a price for their docking before they head towards the market section.</p>
<p>She finds garments for herself quickly, but It takes forever to find suitable clothing for Ben. He’s large for a humanoid, and only a few stalls have anything that fits him.  He’s also quiet and only shakes his head yes or no as she holds garments up in the market.</p>
<p>Ben’s like a lost child, terrified of his own shadow with wild eyes watching all the corners for danger while she quickly shops.  Picking up a multi-colored shimmering shirt for him, she smiles and makes a suggestive look at it just to get a reaction and isn’t disappointed at his affronted scowl. “Kidding,” she says and leans up to kiss him on the underside of his jaw.  He blushes deeply and smiles a bit as she continues her hunt. They will still need food and home goods.</p>
<p>He’s still quiet and holding her hand as they return to their ship.  She looks at the droid dragging their haul back to the ship. They haven’t purchased more than many freighters going into deep space for long hauls, so they shouldn’t be noticed. The droid pushes their cart up the ramp and unloads. </p>
<p>“I think we are safe to stay here tonight,” she says as the droid rolls around the ship. </p>
<p>He nods, still not talking.  She wishes she could reach in and pull what he’s thinking out of his head, but perhaps it will just take time.  </p>
<p>Handing him a kit and sleeping clothes, “go shower, I’ll get everything ready.” </p>
<p>The droid she hired takes out the old mattress and sets in the new one.  The thought of sleeping anywhere those monsters did is not appealing. She’s not exactly picky having grown up on Jakku and living in an AT AT,  but this ship smelled worse than bantha dung and quite frankly she's tired of doing without.  </p>
<p>His eyes are red rimmed, when he emerges from the fresher in a black t-shirt and sleeping pants. It reminds her of their last battle, near drowned and his ears sticking sticking out, that one...the one where she regrettably stabbed him.   She pats the bed and he nods just a bit as he crawls in. Kissing his forehead as he lies down, she heads for the fresher.  </p>
<p>The hot water is heavenly as it loosens the knots in her shoulders. Coming from a desert planet she will never take this feeling for granted.  She fights the scavenger in her head that says she should conserve water, but they can have the ship recharged. The grime, the blood, all of it washes away in a swirl down the drain, it’s just the anger that still remains burning a hole in her soul.  Anger at what happened to them and what was done to them.  Luke was right about one thing, she goes straight for the darkness; perhaps that’s the real curse of being a Palpatine. </p>
<p>She towels off and dons her own sleep shirt, it’s modest, soft and hits just above her knees.  </p>
<p>He’s still awake, staring at the ceiling with his lips trembling.  Her dark prince with his ebony hair splayed out on the pillows, but he’s laying straight as a board under the covers.  She’d ask if he’s ok, but she knows neither of them are. Not yet at any rate. They will be, she’ll do whatever it takes to ensure his happiness. </p>
<p>She lifts up the covers and crawls in snuggling up to him resting her head on his shoulder while she runs her fingers through his still damp hair.</p>
<p>She looks up after a few minutes and strokes his cheek, “What are you thinking?” </p>
<p>He looks at her then, really looks at her, and the sadness is so evident in those eyes that can never hide his feelings.  Ben opens his mouth a few times and stops, then goes back to looking at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“Ben it’s ok.”</p>
<p>He starts shaking as the tears start to flow. </p>
<p>“Oh sweetheart.”  She wraps herself tightly as she can around him, burying her face in his neck, and letting him cry it out.  He deserves to grieve for the life he’s lost. He shifts and wraps his arms around her, gathering her in his arms.  </p>
<p>“Didn’t they love me at all? I was 10...they sent me away at 10 and I never saw them again.  How...how could they do that to their son?” He takes a heaving breath that is more like a sob.  “How could they do that to you? How...how did we mean so little to the people who were supposed to love us?  They threw us out like the garbage being tossed into space.” He crumbles again and rocks her a bit. </p>
<p>She can’t argue with him about all of this irredeemable bullshit.   She kisses his chest and pulls him closer. She loves him...soulmates, dyad..whatever, she loves him. He’s hers and she’s his, and fuck all the universe and everyone that got them to this point. She lets him cry, her own tears are spent on people who aren’t worth her time.</p>
<p>It takes a while, but he calms and she uses the corner of her sleeve to wipe his tears.  He leans into it, chasing her touch. Her poor boy, she knows all to well, that being touch starved is it’s own brand of torture. </p>
<p>“I love you, and no matter what happens, I’m <em> not </em>leaving you.”  She’s certain his heart skips a beat and she leans forward and gently kisses his lips.  It’s light and reassuring and she traces them with her fingers before arranging them so she can sleep on his shoulder.</p>
<p>They are both overwrought from this hellish day, her body aches from exhaustion and she just wants to hold him and in turn be held tonight.  She strokes his hair with a slow and steady rhythm until his breathing evens out and she follows him into a blessedly dreamless sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A girl needs her snuggles, just moving the plot along.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is pointless Drabble, but I promise your honor we are getting somewhere.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From the first day that she was abandoned on Jakku, desert nights were something to be feared.  Every shadow, every noise, the dangers of a sandstorm that blocked out the light, and the never ending cold that seeped in during the night had all made for a truly miserable existence when your only comfort was a handmade doll.  It took a lifetime to get here, but she’s finally warm, encased by strong arms and firmly held against Ben’s solid chest.  She can’t help feeling happy as she turns and nuzzles into his soft shirt...Ben smells like home. Which leads her to smile, it's ridiculous, Ben is her home.  She'd been searching for home since her parents dumped her on Jakku and she'd found it in a lost boy. </p><p>She contentedly listens to his heartbeat while watching the rise and fall of his chest.  The resistance base had more creature comforts than Rey had ever dreamed of, namely blankets and heat, but even in the midst of dozens and then hundreds of people she was still isolated...alone and cold..until now. She had never dared to dream to wake up in his arms, that was a hope too far fetched for her and too many dreams she had were cruelly snatched away.   After a time, Ben stretches a bit and snuggles her closer, </p><p>“Morning,” he mutters and kisses the top of her head. Rey sighs tightening her arms around him and leans up a bit to start kissing his neck. Gently at first, but he tastes amazing and she can’t help it and she nips at him.  It's delightful how he’s groaning and arching into her as he tilts his neck back to give her better access. His hands rub up and down her body and her heart races. Ben suddenly flips her onto her back and then kisses her gently.</p><p>“Good morning,” she says and giggles.  When was the last time she did that? Ben’s lips are so soft as he gently moves them against her own, but Ben kisses like he does everything else, with single minded determination, and soon his tongue is hot and wet and dueling with her own as his hands continue slowly begin to explore her body.  It's new and odd and clouds her mind in a way nothing else has.   The hand snaking up her leg and thigh soon grips the swell of her ass making her shiver and her belly flutter in anticipation.  His hands....gods, they are so large that one practically spans her entire waist. She’s tingling all over and thinking about what comes next, namely getting her hands under his shirt and feeling his skin against hers. </p><p> A banging on the hull breaks the spell and their lips part...he growls, causing her to laugh. He smiles at her reaction...that smile, the one that crinkles at the corner of his eyes and lights up his face, but his eyes are still soft and he looks at her like she hung the very stars in this battered and broken galaxy.  No one has ever looked at her like that and it's a heady feeling as she smiles back up at him, gently brushing a stray hair and tucking it behind his ear.  It's so soft and flows like a silk gown of Leia's she had once been brave enough to touch, before Kaydel had admonished her for dirty hands. </p><p>The banging starts again and he huffs in annoyance, looking at the door to the ramp and trying to sense who's out there. “Dock manager,” he finally says with disgust.</p><p><br/>“No you can’t kill him,” she laughs merrily at his now affronted "who me" expression and reluctantly pushes him off to rid them of what she also now senses is a <em> very </em> annoyed dock manager.  It must be later than she thought, as she quickly pulls on her pants and boots while Ben watches her. </p><p>“Get rid of him, and come back.” He yells after her, rolling onto his stomach.  She looks back, and he’s smiling at her with his head resting on his folded arms, his dark hair a mess and falling over his cheeks.   She’s more than tempted to crawl back into bed, when the banging starts again.  </p><p>“Coming!” She yells and sprints towards the ramp. </p><p>****</p><p>Force she is beautiful.  Whether she’s just woken up or covered in grime and dirt, angry...happy, kicking his ass, it doesn’t matter what the scenario; Rey is simply beautiful.  For all that she’s fierce, she’s just as equally soft under his hands, and right now he wants nothing more than to pull her back into bed where they can keep exploring each other.  His body certainly wants to continue what they started.</p><p>He’d been so young when he was sent off to Luke.</p><p>Pretty girls...were absolutely off limits at the temple.  Pretty girls with hazel eyes, brown hair and kissable soft red lips, were definitely not allowed. How many times had he heard the lecture: <em>  A Jedi, shall not know anger, nor hatred, nor love, </em>from his self-righteous, hypocritical uncle who abandoned both him and Rey.  A little love, a bit of compassion and the galaxy may never have needed to be filled with such pain. </p><p>He loves Rey, he can think that and not be ordered into a day meditation for his penance, and he has a right to be angry at what happened to him...and he thinks grimly...he has a right to <em> hate </em>Palpatine for what he had done to both of them.  He can feel the anger swelling, but nothing that would turn his eyes red and cause him to murder the galaxy.  </p><p>Last night had been wonderful and awful all at the same time. For once in his life he didn’t have something or someone in his head gnawing at his soul, delving into every though and recesses and manipulating his actions.  Rolling onto his back he studies the gray of the durasteel, the rivets and dents and scratches and the patterns they form as he contemplates the fast few days that based on hyperspace lanes should have taken weeks to traverse.  Palpatine...who saw that coming? Not him, probably not anyone. Hadn’t his grandfather tossed the Emperor down a shaft in the Death Star, and then his parents and Uncle Lando blew that damn thing up with Palpatine in it.  The force...seems as good a reason as any, as he shakes his head in disbelief and sits up as he feels a spike of panic in the force from Rey.  Something is wrong, and he’s off the bed and scrambling for his own clothes.  Thankfully she hadn’t been serious about that ridiculous shirt and had bought him something normal. Running through the ship he grabs his blaster and charges down the ramp. </p><p>Rey is arguing with the burly man that looks and smells like an unkempt Ewok.  Does no one bathe on this planet?</p><p>“They are going to be here soon, and I need this spot lady.  You’re going to have to clear out.” </p><p><br/>“How long ago did they contact you? Who was it?"  Rey is rapid firing questions and not giving this guy a chance to complete an answer. </p><p>“Rey?” he says questioningly.</p><p>Her fear is palatable  as he hears her voice in his head.  "<em>Resistance fleet incoming." </em>He realizes through the bond that she’s terrified for him, she’s afraid of what they will do to him if he’s found.</p><p>Holstering his blaster, he waves his free hand in front of the man, “You will forget you ever saw us.”</p><p>“I will forget I ever saw you.”</p><p>“Time to go,” he says forcefully and holds out his hand to her.  She hesitates, but he grabs her hand and starts dragging her up the ramp.  We'll<em> be ok, </em>he sends back.</p><p>Jumping into the cockpit and the pilot's seat Rey shoots him an incredulous look. He smirks at her, “best pilot in the galaxy sweetheart.” </p><p>She flushes in annoyance, he’s definitely going to pay for that comment. But she still takes the copilot’s seat and starts the take off procedure.   </p><p>“Hey,” he says, smiling coyly at her, there is no doubt in his mind now that she is pretty, <em> especially </em> when she wants to kick his ass and he can hear a few choice Huttese phrases slipping out about his arrogance.  She turns to glare at him, but he’s already leaning over and captures her lips kissing her fiercely. Much to his amusement she looks dazed when he breaks away.  “You can kick my ass later, sweetheart.” Rolling her eyes she turns back to the controls, but he sneaks a glance and she’s not <em>quite</em> as mad as she wants to be,</p><p>They are breaking atmo in a few minutes and preparing for light speed when he hears her breath catch. “Ben,” she says warily. </p><p>There it is…a very sizable chunk of the armada and it’s headed right towards them.  There are so many that they will be overrun in moments, and they will need to bail fast before they get scanned. He makes the final calculations and breathes a sigh of relief sinking back into his chair as the stars start flying by at light speed.  </p><p>Grabbing for her hand he brings it up to his lips kissing it and releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding.  Lucky...they are fucking lucky. His dad would be laughing at their stupid close call, because he wanted to sleep in and kiss the girl. What a mess.  </p><p>After several minutes he’s still clutching her hand to his chest and staring out into the inky black of space when he suddenly has the most ridiculous image in his head that has just popped up out of nowhere.</p><p>Snokes in a jar....Snoke in a jar...that is utterly ridiculous, and he starts laughing. And laughing after a decade of not laughing is like a dam breaking and he can’t stop.</p><p>Rey is openly gaping at him, so he covers his mouth trying to stifle his laughter.  She thinks he’s officially lost it. He knows given the situation what he’s thinking is entirely inappropriate and his mother would be horrified. He has this memory that he shares with Rey of pickled vegetables from the markets on Chandrilla, and laughs hysterically again...sending her the mental image of a Pickled Snoke.  She’s confused and apparently has no idea what pickled vegetables are,  </p><p>“I promise, I will show you some day.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Love that Darth Mickey has given up on the trio and just full on Mary Sue’d Rey.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s a truth universally acknowledged that anyone with Skywalker blood has fantastic inner commentary during sex.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is just ridiculous and I needed it out of my system.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ship is moving steadily along in hyperspace. Not that she’s paying attention to where they are flying as her tunic is now on the floor and Ben is kissing and nibbling at her breasts as she moans and writhes against him in the pilot’s seat.  He’d been jumpy and restless since they had left port, and when she’d suggested sparing in the cargo hold. He’d given her a roguish grin and with an indignant squeak she’d been hauled onto his lap where she is now desperately trying to press every inch of her body against his.</p>
<p>She wants this damn shirt off of him, so she can feel his skin...so she can feel and see all of him and rub her her rock hard nipples on his chest. That sounds like the best thing ever, but it would also mean her tongue would have to leave his mouth and she’s not strong enough to do that, so she settles for tugging on his hair and grinding her aching core against the hardness in his pants to relieve the pressure.</p>
<p>Apparently Ben is infinitely stronger and he breaks away from her lips with a groan and then one handed pulls the dark fabric over his head, letting it join her tunic on the floor.  He’s broad and smooth everywhere and she’s suddenly bereft at the loss of the scar that marks him as hers and she traces the path it had taken with her fingertips, then following with her lips and tongue. She bites at his earlobe nibbling on it as he grabs her ass tightly rubbing her core against his dick. Force, that feels amazing, she didn’t know anything could feel like this.</p>
<p>Through the bond she can sense he’s just as wrecked as she feels from the sensations from touching each other. He pinches a nipple rolling it between his fingers as he sucks and bites at the other. She wants more, she’s just not sure what that more is.  But she does know that they need to be naked, her rudimentary knowledge of what comes next is pretty basic at best, but instinct takes over and she needs to feel all of him. She’s frantic as she tries to pull his pants off while still sitting with her knees bracketed against his thighs. She wants her efforts to work, she wants to feel his dick in her hands.</p>
<p>He wants her pants off as well but there isn't enough room to maneuver in this chair as he tugs and tries shimmying them down. <em>This</em> <em>is</em> <em>ridiculous</em>, either she thinks it or he does, because he’s suddenly using the force to lift her up and she wraps her legs around his waist as he carries her to bed.  <em>What</em> <em>an</em> <em>excellent</em> <em>opportunity</em>, she thinks, sucking and biting on his neck.</p>
<p>“Rey” he moans. “Help me out here,” he’s breathless and nuzzling against her hair, blindly trying to make his way to the bed while she’s wrapped around him like a Kowakian.</p>
<p>She smiles against his skin, runs her fingers through the silky strands of his hair and kisses his cheek.  With a few long strides he’s laying her on the bed and tugging at her leggings until she is bare underneath his stare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He’d spent his entire life until Rey as a monk.  First as a padawan, then as a Jedi and then as the apprentice and errand boy of Snoke… Palaptine whatever or whoever the fuck he was.  What he knew about sex was entirely theoretical, and he only possessed that knowledge because he had started to do a bit of research about sex after Snoke. Just in case...should the need arise, and his aching dick had definitely risen.  And that dick..was going to go in that lovely pink spot between her legs. </p>
<p>“Have you done this before?” He tentatively asks.</p>
<p>“No…have you?”</p>
<p>His research had further indicated that a woman’s first time could be painful and therefore he needs to follow his chosen battle plan so he can get his dick in there as expeditiously as possible.</p>
<p>“No.” He admits, his gaze following the soft curves of her body, at least they are both new at this and she won’t know he’s terrible.</p>
<p>“Ben,” Rey is beckoning him with a come hither finger. “Come here.”</p>
<p>He crawls up over her and she wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a kiss that sends shivers down his spine and makes his cock impossibly harder.   When she releases him with a soft smile, he’s dazed.</p>
<p>“I love you,” she says gently, “and you won’t be terrible at this.” She kisses at his jaw, and he shuts his eyes at the feeling of her tiny hands feeling his chest and making their way down to palm him.  He’s almost embarrassed at the needy whine that escapes as he thrusts against her small hand.</p>
<p>Force he <em> does </em> love her.  He kisses her again and tries to convey all that he feels for her; that jumbled mess of desire, love and hope that she’s brought to his life.  She’s his everything.</p>
<p>He nervously reaches between her legs and through her curls and marvels at the wetness he finds at her core as he explores her folds gently at first, and as he learns her his strokes become firmer until she gasping and rutting against his fingers.  </p>
<p>He studies her reactions as she writhes.  When he gently inserts one finger and then two as he thrusts them, she gasps out his name and breathless moans. Being able to sense what she’s feeling and her desire for him, is a cheat sheet that was not covered in any of his readings, and as she clenches around his fingers he’s in shock.  How was that even possible? Why wasn’t that covered in any text? He would have abandoned the First Order and the Jedi Day one had such a possibility been even vaguely mentioned.  </p>
<p>He’s eternally grateful to all the gods for this new discovery as he watches his love shudder and fall apart in his arms.  </p>
<p>When she comes back from her high, Rey is smiling up at him, but there is a mischievous glint in her eye. She squeals and uses the force to flip him onto his back.  She quickly strips his pants and undergarments and kisses her way up his stomach, her fingernails lightly scraping up his chest and he’s sure he might hyperventilate. She rubs her wet core over his length and his eyes nearly roll back in his head.  She so wet and soft, and he wants to feel all of her.</p>
<p>“Rey...please.” He’s going to go crazy if he isn’t in her soon.</p>
<p>She reaches down and positions herself over his dick, and slowly begins sinking onto him.  It’s pure wonderful torture, the stars have aligned and the ship must be riding a a seismic fault in the Galaxy.. She’s tight and hot and he could die right now and his life would have meant something.  His hands grip tightly on her hips to keep her from disappearing as this clearly is the best dream he’s ever had.  Honestly, he wonders if he died on Exogal and he’s made his way to the afterlife. He really should  loosen them or he might leave bruises. But right now his brain function is on shut-down and is currently rebooting as he watches in awe as she continues to take him.  Nothing has ever felt like this….nothing else in the universe could ever feel this toe curlingly good.</p>
<p>He can sense her discomfort and he does his best to remain still and tries desperately to maintain control as her inner walls clench around him.  He can feel her determination as she suddenly slams herself down the remaining way as their hips blessedly meet. A tear slips out of her eye and his heart nearly breaks, there will never be a time again that he wants to hurt her. He brushes it away gently.  “Are you ok?” He whispers. He hopes she is, because he really wants to keep going, but he’ll stop for her, he’s already torn apart the galaxy for this woman...he can wait.</p>
<p>“I just need a moment...you are much bigger than I realized.”</p>
<p>He isn’t sure if that’s good, and since he hurt her…</p>
<p>Rey rolls her hips a bit, “oh!” She exclaims as he moans. She gives another roll and he’s sure his heart and his member might explode.  He’s wrecked, utterly destroyed by her and the damn ship could blow up and he'd consider it still a good day. “Yes, that’s it,” She declares,” you can move Ben.”</p>
<p><em>Thank</em> <em>the</em> <em>force</em>, and he thrusts up gently at first as she rolls against him with her hands firmly on his chest for leverage.   She’s beautiful and wanton as she moves above him like a goddess.. He needs her closer, he needs to feel her heart beating against his own and he pulls her down and cradles her against his chest as they move slowly against each other.  His hand drags down her back to the swell of her ass to pull her deeper. “Ben.” She pleads and he can feel she wants more, but doesn’t know what to ask for. He gently rolls her over and begins to thrust in and out. It’s the most glorious experience of his life.  He leans down to capture her delicious lips, but she bites his bottom lip in return and wraps her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his ass to spur him forward.</p>
<p>“Harder...please,” she moans out and he is lost and begins pistoning his hips in and out of her body.  His universe has shrunk to just this moment, just this tiny space in this ship as his spine starts to tingle and the already thin barrier between them dissipates, he shows her everything he’s experiencing, every moment he’s wanted her and how beautiful she is.  Her walls clench around him and he’s gone...utterly gone and spilling into her with a shout.</p>
<p>It takes him a moment to return to the present and he pulls out as gently as he can, his body rumbling with aftershocks.  Rolling onto his back he pulls her with, until she’s splayed with a leg over his, an arm draped over his chest and her head tucked under his chin</p>
<p>“I love you” he’s trying not to cry as he kisses the top of her head.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” she says with a contented sigh and kisses his chest.</p>
<p>He would have killed for her before, but now...now he knows in his soul that he will do his best to live for her.</p>
<p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy Belated birthday to our baby boy Ben Solo, who is going to spend the rest of his life happy.</p>
<p>And fuck you JJ Abrams and fuck you Chris Terrio.  I hope you end up in a Sarlac, slowly being digested.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Antis...Bob Iger, KK, Terrior and Jar Jar...did you see that Oscar kiss that was a shout to the Reylo army?  We're going to get our boy back.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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